Divorced dad, I had never thought I would face this in my life. I never thought I’d get divorced. Divorce was something that happened to other people, not to me, when I was growing up.
The idea of a broken home was alien to me as my parents continued to live together. But our best-laid plans often get undone by life.
I put a lot of effort into preserving my marriage as it was beginning to fall apart. They implored, “Stay together for the kids,” and I heeded their counsel. I thought that everything would be alright as long as we shared a roof.
However, it wasn’t. The harsh truth was that no one, least of all my children, benefited by living in an emotionally devoid home. The inevitable resulted in our divorce eventually.
As the dust settled, I found myself navigating a new reality. I was now a single father with two kids, balancing personal and business accounts, including checking, savings, 401k, credit cards, life insurance, and multiple college accounts in my children’s names.
The thought that haunted me the most was this: if I were to have a serious accident, become incapacitated, or worse, die—how would my kids know about these accounts?
How would they access them? I couldn’t rely on my ex-wife to handle this, and I know I’m not alone in that sentiment. Many divorced fathers share my concerns when it comes to financial matters.
A health concern, a last-minute hospital visit that made me realize how unprepared I was for the unimaginable, marked the turning point in my life.
I didn’t have a plan in place to make sure my kids would be cared for in the event that I passed away. I sought an answer that would enable me to tell my kids important information, but only at the appropriate moment.
Looked for pre-existing options online, but none of them really satisfied my demands. The most widely used services needed you to give “deputies” instant access to your personal data. I didn’t feel comfortable with that. I wanted to be in charge of my data and make sure that it would only be disclosed when required.
Once I was out of the hospital, I began sketching out an idea. A few months later, Just In Case Message (JICM) became a reality.
How I Use Just In Case Message?
The process of setting up JICM was straightforward. I added my trustees—my children—and wrote the first messages in minutes. Writing a “just in case” message is an emotional task.
It’s difficult to imagine a scenario where your kids need to access this information because you’re no longer able to communicate. But I knew it was something I had to do. I focused on being practical, sharing the essential details they would need.
I then gathered all my account information, organized it, and input it into information cards attached to my messages. The fun part was creating security quizzes for my kids—questions about fond memories, like our favorite vacation spot, or my favorite sports team, things that only they would know.
JICM also allows me to set up check-in emails. I configured the system to send me reminders every few days. If I fail to check in after multiple attempts, the system will assume something has happened to me and will send the messages to my children.
Wrapping Up
The peace of mind that I sorely needed was provided by taking the time to prepare these “just in case” texts. It gives me peace of mind to know that, in the worst-case scenario, my kids will have access to all the information they require.
I felt like I had no control over the issue, but this method gave me that control back.
It is imperative that divorced dads who have similar concerns get ready for the unimaginable. I cannot emphasize this point enough.
JICM is a means to make sure that your kids are cared for no matter what, not merely a service. It’s an expression of love, accountability, and wisdom that, in my opinion, every parent ought to adopt.
